Summary
’” He adds that his grandma notices young people these days “think their feelings and their actions are married to each other. Happy means productive,…
Over on Reddit in a subforum discussing how to become more disciplined, member Limp_Edu4797 shared an impactful piece of advice from his 96-year-old grandma on not letting feelings and emotions get in the way of remaining disciplined and working through hard things.
In the post, he shared: “For a long time, I was stuck in this cycle where I’d only be productive when I felt like it. If I was in a bad mood, I’d tell myself to wait until tomorrow. When I was tired, I’d take a Netflix break. If I was stressed about something, I’d procrastinate until my headspace cleared up,” he wrote. “One day, my grandma was watching me complain about how I couldn’t get anything done because I was ‘too anxious’ about some work project.”
Grandma didn’t hold back
He goes on to explain that while he was expecting his grandma to have more sympathy for him, she instead offered him hard-hitting advice from her own life experience. He continued, “She just looked at me and said, ‘You know, during the war, we didn’t have the luxury of waiting until we felt good to do what needed doing.’ Then she told me something I’ll never forget: ‘You need to separate your actions from your feelings!’”
He adds that his grandma notices young people these days “think their feelings and their actions are married to each other. Happy means productive, sad means lazy, scared means stop. But that’s just a story we tell ourselves.”
It’s a lot different from how she experienced life. She told him, “I didn’t feel like rationing food or working on the farm. But I did it anyway. Not because I ignored my feelings, but because I did it WITH my feelings.”
When he tried to explain that things these days are just different, she didn’t argue with him. “She just nodded and said, ‘You’re probably right. But here’s what I learned: don’t lie to yourself by using your feelings as an excuse. Don’t say: I’m stressed, so I can’t do it.’ She told me to change the narrative and tell myself: ‘I’m stressed, that’s fine, so I’ll do it stressed.’”
Reactions were mixed, but mostly moved
Her wise words are resonating with younger generations online. “I didn’t know I needed this today. Thank you. Your grammas words are hitting hard for me this morning and I appreciate it! Fell all your feelings, they’re valid, but stay disciplined with those feelings. Not in spite of them,” one commented.
Another wrote, “I think this is the root of many differences between our newer generations and our older ones. We are swung far in the direction of acknowledging our feelings, validating them, etc.—so far, perhaps, that we have arrived in a place where feelings dictate our actions. That’s what you’re describing. There’s a happy medium, and it’s required for healthy functioning adults. Sometimes situations warrant being overridden by emotion. Most don’t. You get to/have to choose what kind of person to be.”
Another quipped, “I Can Do it With a Broken Heart but make it depression era,” referencing the Taylor Swift hit.
Others were slightly skeptical of the advice she gave. “I get the validity in this, truly. But, we’ve also acknowledged how their stiff approach harbors trauma responses that can last generations. It’s okay to have hard feelings. We can acknowledge them, but she is right to encourage you to keep moving forward. But, we should always listen to our bodies and see where that feeling is coming from,” another shared.
My grandma (96) made discipline so simple
byu/Limp_Edu4797 ingetdisciplined
Grandma was onto something
Ultimately, many appreciated the focus on re-framing your mindset to accomplish goals and remain disciplined. Another commented, “So much to ‘discipline’ is what????? The mental game. There are lots of ways to attack the mental game. At the core is…re-framing….reframing our mindset, how we look at, process our thoughts, approach to things we know we should do, want to, but don’t. Grandma was on to something with her ‘separate’ feelings from actions approach.”
This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.
Source: Upworthy
